well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
i believe in u and ur pee
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
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