i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
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