Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
party gras won. party gras always wins.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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