dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
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