My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
