we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
