Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
