Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
