I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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