Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Randomize
