id be glad to
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
it's like heaven, but drunker
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Randomize
