Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
