Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
We need a shit load of segways right now
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
