my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
