just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize