My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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