He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
