I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
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