she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Watching her eat just hurts me
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
