but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize