shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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