Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
