I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I have aggressive nipples.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
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