Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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