So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
if i died would you start the facebook group?
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Randomize
