Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
