I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
