I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
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