I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Randomize
