you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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