I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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