we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
i think i have two assholes
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
This toilet bowl is my home.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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