Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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