She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
i think i just lost a toe
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
