i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Barsexuality is the new black.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
