Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
