he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Randomize