my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
