once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
