I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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