Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
