Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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