If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
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