Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Randomize
