I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Randomize
