I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
love makes seman taste better
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Randomize