I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Randomize
