I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
