Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
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