Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Randomize
