i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize