Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
