So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
Randomize
