he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Randomize
