she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
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