no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
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