I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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