Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
