Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
