it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
